Volcano jokes-top 4 picks

Travel seems to be getting back to normal. Hopefully Mt. Katya, the even larger volcano near Eyjafjallajökull (see graphic below), won't erupt!

Based on an intensive 5 minute search, here are my picks for "Top 4 Best Icelandic Volcano Jokes" on the Internet:

1. It was the last wish of the Icelandic economy that its ashes were spread all over Europe.
2. Iceland goes bankrupt, then it manages to set itself on fire. This has insurance scam written all over it.
3. Did you hear that Goldman Sachs made the Iceland volcano erupt? It did pretty well shorting airlines.
4. I see that America has declared war on Iceland. Apparently they are accusing them of harbouring a “weapon of ash eruption”.

Picture from "Hazards due to eruptions and floods from Katla and Eyjafjallajökull, south Iceland" : www.ginorden.org/events/gikonferanser/ginorden2005/folder.2005-09-22.0156715982/folder.2005-09-26.3717505051/Session_10-Monitoring_of_Seismic_Activity_Magnus_Gudmundsson.pdf/at_download/file

Rouen: Je ne suis pas l'Homme de la Batte

I've been practicing my mouth calisthenics aka "speaking French". While the odd bit of rusty Spanish still ambushes my fledgling French pronunciation, I'm definately improving. That is, until...Rouen. You see, before Rouen or "wahh(n)", I was blissfully unaware of the hazards of the letter R in French. Naturellement, c'est francais!

Unlike either the English or Spanish versions, the tricky "r" beast requires learning throat yoga. It entails finding my "K" spot and a mantra to the Egyptian sun god ("ra-ra-ra"). Other suggestions for conquering "r" include gently rolling the "r" as it's hacked out like a loogie, growling like a tiger, or just randomly making it sound like a "w". Hence, "wahh(n)" with the n highly nasalized. Sounds good to me! But I'll keep paper and pens handy to write words out just in case.

Speaking of words, I couldn't resist the "r" section in Dave Barry's "Parlez-vous Français?" piece. I found it while trying to figure out how to say "Rouen". Needless to say, it didn't help. But thinking about it will certainly make my language mantras sound extra amused!

"...Sometimes we Americans try to blend in to the café scene, but the French immediately spot us as impostors, because we cannot pronounce the Secret French Code letter, which is ``r.'' They have learned to say ``r'' in a certain secret way that sounds as though they are trying to dislodge a live eel from their esophagus. It is virtually impossible for a non-French person to make this sound; this is how the Parisian café waiters figure out that you are an American, even if you are attempting to pass as French:

WAITER: Bonjour. Je suspect que vous etes American. (``Good day. I suspect that you are American.'')

YOU: Mais je ne portes pas les Nikes! (``But I am not wearing the sneakers!)

WAITER: Au quais, monsieur pantalons intelligents, prononcez le mot ``Rouen.'' (``OK, Mr. Smarty Pants, pronounce the word `Rouen.' '')

YOU: Woon. (``Woon.'')

WAITER: Si vous etes Francais, je suis l'Homme de la Batte. (``If you are French, I am Batman.'')"